Oh, How I Miss Thee...

I've listed many things throughout this blog of things I miss being in a foreign country. So, I won't rehash those. I will move on to the more appropriate topic for this time of year; holidays.

They have Halloween here, it's just not as big of a deal as it is in America. I miss seeing my kids in their costumes of course. And you can't forget the candy... boy will I miss that this year. Halloween was a holiday that I loved once but now just serves as a reminder of all of my shortcomings. It has been years since I've been able to go trick-or-treating with my kids and that just sucks. I wallow for weeks after in the guilt. This year I could probably go because of my improved physical and mental health but alas, I'm here not there.

More than Halloween though, I am going to miss Thanksgiving. It is an American holiday and they have nothing close to it here. On Thanksgiving Thursday I will be eating whatever my hosts have planned for dinner, not Turkey/Ham, dressing, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, cranberry sauce, rolls, and pies of all kinds. I still don't know how I am going to fare being without my kids on this day - it's going to be horrible - but I know I will miss the food and family gathering aspect of it too.

Thanksgiving was always a fun time in our house. We would either cook dinner or go out and then later in the evening we would get the Christmas decorations out so we could make sure they were good to go for the morning when it was time to decorate. My heart is aching as I write this because that was one of my favorite times spent with my children. They did much of the decorating as they got older but they let their old mom share in it and I enjoyed watching their faces light up as the house transformed into something special and beautiful.

So, what will I do on these days? Well, on Halloween I will probably just text the kids like I normally do and I will request pictures of them in their costumes. But Thanksgiving, well, Thanksgiving will be different. I plan to call them at some point in the day and talk to them so I can hear their voices and see their faces. I just hope I don't cry too much. (Who am I kidding, I will cry at some point during the day. I sure hope I don't do it while I'm on the phone.) As for the day after, I might video call after they are done decorating (if they decorate) or I might just message them as usual and request pictures.

Now, this moves on to the question of Christmas. This is going to be the hardest Christmas of my life. Harder than the first Christmas I spent away from my father. I can't say much about it now because the thought of it is too painful. But I do figure I will have a blog about what my Christmas was like. Don't get me wrong, DJ's family is including me in their Christmas and I am so grateful for that. But how does one react when they are spending Christmas away from their kids before their kids are all grown up?

Until Next Time...