I'm Back Baby!

As some of you might know, I started writing in 2004 then put it aside until 2013 when I began publishing novels. I worked steadily until 2018 and then every time I picked up a pen, it was like my mind went blank and trying to write actually triggered my anxiety making it worse. And I felt lost.

Through the years since, I've come up with several reasons why I couldn't write (See here: https://www.jjweatherill.com/post/anguish-how-to-find-yourself-only-to-be-lost-again-the-novel-that-broke-me or look here: https://www.jjweatherill.com/post/my-mojo-is-back-but-will-she-stay ) Now, I think this whole time I've been wrong about my reasons for losing the will to write.

I feel really bad about blaming my poor soon to be ex but here goes. He was always very critical of what I wrote. He'd even go so far as to refuse to let me bounce ideas off of him anymore or even give me the silent treatment if I didn't change what I wrote to satisfy him. On a couple of occasions, he'd even try to sabotage or not support my release parties.

Writing had started out as my thing but I was happy to let him be my sounding board. However, in his world it was always his way or the highway (punishments mentioned above). And he didn't like it when I had something all my own. I didn't realize it at the time but he was working his way into my world and we soon started writing together. Well, you can guess how that ended. My ideas, characters, and storylines having to be twisted to meet his vision. If he didn't get his way, there was hell to pay.

So, when the writing partnership was done, I picked up where I left off and was having a good time again. I started writing different genres and I was releasing some pretty good stories. The problem was when my characters had a turn to tell their stories and there weren't any left to write about, my imagination seemed to dry up. Thinking of new stories and new characters was like pulling teeth. But of course, when almost everything was shot down as being stupid or not realistic enough or not like what I'd written before, my passion for writing died. It wasn't fun anymore. I was always worried about what he would think or say and whether my punishments would be silence, being made fun of, or a complete boycott of the project.

Fast forward to now, and my divorce is almost complete. "I'm in a beautiful state of a beautiful country, living a life of love and peace. I felt the fog lifting and the creativity is slowly creeping back into my soul. I have ideas and characters and plots and voices bothering me at all hours of the day and night. I feel whole again as I sit down every day to write thousands of words in my next novel. And I feel excited again that characters and plot points for upcoming novels are making themselves heard. I can't wait to write them.

I'M BACK BABY!!!

Until Next Time...